Saturday 3 March 2012

Nor' Siide VS SouthSoyide

It seems strange to think that two sides in a county can differ so much... That is until you realise, it's Dublin and everyone automatically understands this concept.
To clarify, I'm a Northsider...*awaits cheers but then realises what was just said*... But this will in no way inhibit me from making a completely unbiased comparison, not that I'd need to try and speak ill of the Northside as it kinda does that itself by just existing! Oh I'm sorry Northside, I'd try and understand a bit better but your self-created speech impediments deny me from doing so.

Okay, I guess it's not fair to just slate the Northside because apparently, they're people too... So to make things fair... Roysh, Roysh, Skobe, D4, Daddy's Company, Heino, Where's my butler?, I have more money than brain cells.

Now that that's out of the way I can begin to make a proper comparison.

Northside:

Transport:

Getting around the Northside is pretty straight forward. If you walk, you'll probably end up running.

The Bus is handy except for the fact that it likes to take it's sweet time deciding what to wear before actually leaving the station and eventually getting to your bus stop. However, once it's there you can hop on (presuming you weren't stabbed while waiting an extremely long time) and it usually leaves you quite close to anywhere you want to go. Drawbacks include; It's on the Northside; it's a bus!

There is always the option of a DART, which stands for Dublin Area Rapid Transit, which I can't help thinking; Why didn't they say Rappih' instead of Rapid, it really doesn't suite the 'lingo' over here. Anyway, it's fast and effiecient however it seems to be a popular drinking place for some yobs.
Drawbacks include; It's on the Northside; it's a Train!

Your only other options include, a Nissan Mirca with more customizations than Myspace that sounds like a subwoofer was shoved in the exhaust which wll make you 'deadly' or a horse... which will make you 'deadlier dan deadly'.

People/Areas:

The Northside has it's bad share of areas and people. It seems the more run-down an area, the more drugs you're supposed to take. The scangers that are profusely scattered around the place and like to be as anti-social as 'anti' will allow. They like to wear hoodies with the hoods up all the time, even when it's not raining but I guess that's just incase it does start raining, that way, they're ahead of everyone else... There is also a strange tradition of loitering outside shops without actually having the intent of buying anything. If you're looking for drugs, you won't have to go far... Outside your doorstep should do. There are other issues like Gangland violence and poverty which I'm not bothered getting into.

It's not to say the Northside is ALL bad, though. There are certain areas which are quite pleasant and tend to lack the rough social and residential obstacles as other areas.

All-in-all, it's a good and bad area but in my personal opinion, there is more bad than good.



Southside:

Transport:

There's a slightly more luxurious feel to transport in the Southside. If you're not flying to work in 'Daddy's Helicopter' you're probably driving there in your Mercedes CLS 350 or your BMW 5 Series. Or, your being driven in a limo.

As far as Southsiders are concerned, there is no such thing as the DART or Dublin Bus in that area, as a Southsider taking public transport is downright unheard of!

The only exception is of course, is, the Luas! Yes the shiny metal tram that is kind of a DART/Dublin Bus hybrid but is just as, (if not) slower than both of them combined.

I'd say there is not much walking in the Southside either. I would think Segway's have taken care of that little problem.

To be honest there not much else to say about it. As the current sterytype goes, everyones Father on the Southside owns a company and therefore means everyone has so much money, they use it as toilet paper.

People/Areas:

Alright so again the sterotype goes, if you live in the Southside ,then that automcatically means you have a mansion for a house. This is a complete fabrication and I've been told that some areas, are WORSE than the Northside...*GASP* Yes that's right, be afraid, Northsiders, roysh? The thing is, I can't help thinking that a mugging in the Southside would be a less frightening ordeal. I picture the mugger dressed in a Pinstripe suit, holding a rare expensive double-barrel 12-gauge. The dialoge being something like: "I say old chap, would you give me all your focking valuable items? I would not want to test my 18th Centuary Shotgun on your facial structure, roysh?" I'll admit right now that besides the words 'Focking' and 'Roysh', there was absolutely no connection to the Southside with that dialoge.

So, in terms of the Southside, there are some really good and some horribly bad places to be.

To sum up, yes, I COULD have covered many other topics of both 'Sides' but the truth is, I didn't fucking want to! There is no other way to look at these 'Sides' other than... They both have good and shit places and they are both good and shit to be in. In my personal opinion, I think that it's not about IF either side has shit areas but more, HOW MANY shit areas and I think that trophy goes to the Northside. A way to describe each side would be this: The Southside is (sterotypically) A wealthy Drama queen, who's only fame is having alot of money...The Northside is (sterotypically) a poverty stricken chimney sweep, who's life goal is to be the biggest, most notorious heroin trafficker ever.

So dats da bleedin' shtory, peace out, roysh?

1 comment:

  1. This blog was also orginially posted on Facebook on the April 11, 2010.

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